


Gone Rouge

by That_Nerd_Cam



Category: my ocs - Fandom
Genre: M/M, prepare for angst, this will never end hghghhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 11:51:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 540
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14236683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/That_Nerd_Cam/pseuds/That_Nerd_Cam
Summary: My name is Jason Ian Mateo Nicolas Rodriquez. Well, that's His name. I am just a copy. A mistake. A rouge oc.





	Gone Rouge

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is @Space-Art-Child, talk to me there!

It’s difficult. Very very very difficult.

 

Waking up every day somewhere new. Somewhere strange. Somewhere further to home.

 

Home no longer exists.

 

I just wanna see his face. His smile. His kiss. One day I will find him.

 

….

 

One day I’ll stop lying.

 

Hi! You don’t know me. No one knows me. I hardly know me. I probably don’t exist, just a copy of the original but I can think so that’s got to count for something.

 

Sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself. My name is Jason.

 

Jason Rodriquez.

 

No, not Him. He’s the original. There are only two of us. That we know of that is.

I, am the Jason lost into the void of the infinite timelines. Doomed to live my eternal life trying to get back to where I split. Wrong Timeline Jason. But that sounds so unclassy. I prefer Rouge Jason.

 

I suppose that makes it sound like I wish to be rouge, I wish to be out of her control. Well, I do. I technically am. She has no plot for me. I am as free as I can make myself be. The Original is so domestic. He’s whipped. Collared. Tamed. I could go on.

 

I am a hollowed shell of a man. No family. No home, no love. I am free some would say. No memories. No consequences. Maybe I’ll keep that in mind. I AM a teenager after all.

I fall in love almost every day. There are millions of him. But they are not Him. it’s easy too tell. Far too easy. As soon as I find a single shard, my heart shatters once more into a million slivers of love for my Ophie.

 

I say My Ophie. The others are not mine. Some hardly love me. Some love me too much. It’s suffocating really. Does he love me? Will he love me? Do I love him? So many questions and so little time before I am uprooted once more.

 

The fact that there are thousand of possibility. Each choice we make, no matter how small sprouts a completely new world. I wake up beat and bloody. I wake up nude. I wake up in midair or underwater. I am a mistake, a viris, a 5 in a world of 1’s and 0’s. I don’t belong and some Ophies know it. They next day I am gone, only I keep the memories.

 

This is torture of the worst kind. I navigate a labyrinth blind. I run a marathon with no limbs. I won’t last much longer. But I was built to. I am a machine what keeps 

running after rust and corrosion.

 

There are good timelines too. My father is alive. My sister is married. My mother stayed. I have children.

 

They are the worst.

 

The joy ebbs away into dull but sharp pain as I find my eyes closing, my vision fading into black. It blurs more as I realize I will never see this pure bliss for years. Decades. Centuries. 

 

What’s left of the man I am shatters, leaving behind a ghost that also doesn’t belong to me or these worlds. A shadow in broad daylight. A whisper. A breeze. A tap on the shoulder. Something there but not quite.


End file.
